Dating is easier and more difficult than in the past. We are certainly exposed to a multitude of apps and websites, each of which presents an endless stream of profiles, bios, names, ages, heights, etc.
But a bigger pool makes it harder to weed out the duds and find the people you can connect with. That or her on the other end of that problem, finding too many people walking through your profile.
Tinder bios decide whether to go for a hunk or a top: Attractive images and clever as well as interesting text bring deserved matches. No text and unfavorable images end with a swipe to the left. Daily Illinois has put together some cool and funny Tinder bios for you, which shot the bird. Have fun!
Funny Tinder Bios
Tinder makes searching easier for searchers, who can read a brief blurb and hand it over to someone with a snap of their fingers. But it’s harder for those trying to get noticed. If you can be pushed aside so easily, how do you grab someone else’s attention and get them to swipe right instead of left?
Tinder Profile Picture Tips
It starts with the profile picture. The truth is, there is no hard and fast rule for the perfect picture. Just focus on showing your assets. That means highlighting your best physical traits but also highlighting your best personality traits.
Show it off with a goofy photo, if you are funny. If you’re social, show yourself around town with a friend. Use this awesome picture of yourself posing in front of the Colosseum, if you travel a lot. Let people know who you are.
Tinder Organic Tips
Once you have the profile picture, it’s time to start thinking about the perfect bio. It is much easier said than done. However, you mustn’t skip this part. If you don’t have a bio at all, you’ll look lazy or disinterested.
As with the photo, play to your strengths. Be funny if you are funny. If you aren’t, don’t force it or it will just turn out to be uncomfortable. If you’re a big reader or a fan of movies, consider a quote. However, avoid anything too cliche or you will appear cliche.
If you have a total loss, try a simple descriptive statement. It appears disrespectful, even humorous, and will get you off the hook. Examples are “I like cheese” or “I sing in the shower”.
Hilarious Funny Tinder Bios
If you want to be funny, check out the following for inspiration. These funny Tinder bios range from bizarre to astute and are guaranteed to make you smile.
Halal in the streets, haram in the sheets
Funny and Clever Tinder Bio Ideas
- Hey… is it me, whom you are looking for?
- I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.
- If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, I’m brave enough to ask you out!
- You can delete me on Facebook, You can unfollow me on Twitter, You can delete my number, But you can’t unlock my but*hole.
- For some reason, I was feeling a little off today. But when you came along, you turned me on…
- Don’t look at those sad eyes on my happy face, you will be caught.
- Hey, you’re pretty and I’m cute. Together we’d be Pretty Cute.
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- You’d better not be messing with me. I like you, but if you’re feeding me a load of shit just to get some action, I’m going to plug a big silver stake right through your heart.
- So my friend needed a girlfriend, but he was unsure about Tinder. So, I told him that I would make one and show him that it works.
- I’m on here because I’m trying to date your dad.
- You remind me of my next girlfriend.
- Swipe me right and promise you can’t get me out of your mind.
- I’m not as dumb as you look.
- I’m not a humanitarian, I’m a hell-raiser.
- Weapons of mass distraction.
- Have a seat, I’m expecting you!
- I used to be a terrible flirt. I’m much better at it now.
- I don’t take life too seriously because I know I will never get out of it alive.
- Let’s share, You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.
Quirky One-Liners That Swipe Right
- I’m not flirting. I’m just being extra friendly to someone who is extra attractive.
- There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.
- I have always believed in the saying more money more problems but if you have money that ain’t a problem.
- I am a little freaky at times…but no one has stepped up to the plate to explore that side of me.
- I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
- Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
- I would like to cover you in peanut butter and see how much I could lick off before my peanut butter allergy killed me.
- Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.
- If at first, you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
- Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go.
- Smart girl with a dumb booty.
- I can’t go on, will you marry me?
- It’s my chaos that made me beautiful.
- I’m here because I have to find him and he isn’t here.
- If you can eat more McDonald’s cheeseburgers than me then I will suck your di*ck.
- Sweet as sugar. Cold as ice. Hurt me once, I’ll break you twice.
- I have sufficient wildness to make you crazy.
- It’s tough being a single Mom. Or so I’m told. I would know; I don’t have kids.
- I’m not for everyone but maybe for you!
- Threesome? No thanks… if I wanted to disappoint two people in the same room, I’d have dinner with my parents.
Funny Tinder Bios That Break the Ice
There are many dating sites, where people just scroll here and there and just waste their precious time. Bios in these sites are all the same so they could not get the attention of the people. What is written is there in the bio is the height of the person and some irrelevant emojis.
As these things are irregular and irrelevant they will not be able to get the attention of the users. In this way, these websites are a waste. Thus it makes it challenging to find a funny Tinder bio that gets our attention.
See Also: Tinder bio ideas for girls
I am just hoping you don’t walk all over me
I might be lactose intolerant become handle your milk
I always keep a loaded gun on my nightstand in the event of an intruder, so I can shoot myself to avoid meeting new people.
I was kicked off of Tinder twice: once for making a penis-shaped Christmas cookie my profile photo, the second because my bio was “there’s always money in the banana stand” and someone mistook that for me being an escort.
I may like being choked but sea turtles don’t… pick up your fucking trash
I got a B+ in Human Sexuality in college, so let’s just say I know my way around a
*checks poorly scribbled notes*
I recently broke up with my girlfriend because she didn’t know how I liked my coffee.
I like my coffee the same way I like my women.
I’m not the type of girl you have to hold in farts for, but rather the type of girl you want to hold in farts for.
Have you ever said “Fuck the Police”
Wit and Charm in the Swipe Zone
Do you want a queen? Earn one. Do you want a whore? Buy me 3 shots of Tequila.
If you want a whore, give me $2, if you want a queen, You’ve come to the wrong place.
Hello Ladies,
Look at the last guy you matched, now back to me, now back to the last guy you matched, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped leaving his bio blank, and had better pictures, he could be like me. Look down, the man of your dreams. What’s in your hand, back to me. I have it. It’s pizza with your favorite toppings on it. Look again, the pizza is now your favorite dot. Anything’s possible when you match me on Tinder.
Don’t match me just looking for an account
I’m dying to meet you.
When an ICU?
If your surname is Tickle I might have to marry you.
Will you marry me?
Sure, but I like pineapple on pizzas and I think Star Wars is overrated.
Brunch father extraordinaire, chess enthusiast, and world’s most okay sit-down comedian. Let’s do sushi and catch a show at IO.
If you are interested, after we message for a bit, do not ask for my number, or my enemies are alerted. Instead, head to your nearest bus stop. There will be a man reading a newspaper and wearing a gray hat. Ask him for a glass of milk. If he responds with “Yes it is a cloudy day,” he is my associate and will pass an envelope containing the date and time of our meeting. If he is not there, or down respond with that, Run.
Epic Fails Turned into Epic Bios
I always keep a loaded gun on my nightstand in the event of an intruder, so I can shoot myself to avoid meeting new people.
This isn’t the kitchen
I’m lost
send help
pls
This is my roommate Bailey. She doesn’t know I made her a Tinder so if you win a date with her please don’t mention it. She’s super cool and all, but she’s been hogging Netflix lately and I need to get her out of the house so I can catch up on my shows.
I was probably pooping while I swipe
My nickname is Gillette because I’m…
Married. have 14 kids and looking for someone to sneak into my bedroom when my husband isn’t in town. Just kidding. I just want someone to agree to go to my cousin’s wedding with me this summer so my family stops questioning my sexuality. Please message me your “Wedding date resume” in MLA format if you are interested.
I’m cultured in that I like imported beers & traveling.
If you can’t laugh at yourself, I probably will.
I gag on my toothbrush so don’t be excited.
I once entered 10 puns into a pun contest, but not a single pun won. No pun in ten did.
I’m half deaf (yes, really) so here is an example of our first date:
You – “As you know, I’m an incredibly successful Chris Pratt impersonator and I cannot wait to shower you with gifts and money.”
Me – “What?”
Your parents will love me, but your neighbor not
A little-known fact is that I cover 40% of my life
Humor that Sparks Connection
I enjoy long walks on the beach, but I can’t walk, and the sand fucks
Getting lost in the supermarket as a child was scarring, mama would call out my name and everyone would call out Polo,
I’m not the type of girl you have to hold in farts for, but rather the type of girl I hold in farts for.
@50 shades of Wray
I don’t have Ebola
What do you call a blind German?
A note
Hahaha, btw I’m blind.
For all the people out there saying there must be something wrong with me if I’m putting this much effort into my bio,
Disclaimer: I don’t have legs, but don’t worry – I’m taking it in stride. Just roll with it okay?
My life was a trainwreck (literally hit by a train), here are some awesome benefits from it:
I’ll never run away from you
Front row parking
Technically I can still doggy paddle, I even have sexy land-roving bionic legs
I have similar functionalities to a vacuum, easily portable – I come on wheels, and I…
It’s not uncomfortable for my feet to be above my head
Face: 10/10
Body: 8/10
Legs” 5/2
Grandfather seeking companion for granddaughter. She suffers from poor choices.
Recently broke up with my girlfriend because she didn’t like how I take my coffee.
I like my coffee the same way I like my women.
Without other people’s click on it.
Am I cute? No. Do I have a nice person
I don’t even care if you’re a murderer
I need someone to be my right-hand man
Laugh Your Way to Matches
So here’s how this will go:
We’ll exchange punny pickup lines
I’ll make small talk, you mention the puppy
Pretty sure it’ll get flirty
Eventually, you’ll send me your number
Will help you register to vote. That’s all I’m here for.
FIGHT
Stop asking I’ve never held one.
Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people call “tall girls” is just a chemical reaction that compels short people to breed. It hits hard, Morty, and then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on people your height.
How would I describe myself? Three words. Hard-working. Alpha Male. Jackhammer. Merciless. Insatiable. I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Tip: The Instagram Bio is like the business card of your Instagram profile. Users have the opportunity to introduce themselves and store contact details.
