Exhibit A: Wattles
Finally, capping off season 1 of Sexy Beasts, Keleche, a pharmacy student from Knoxville, Tennessee, with a head of a rooster, sets out to find a girl who’s smart, funny, fit and all the usual stuff.
I want to get this out of the way early: The red dangly bits below a rooster’s beak are called wattles. Wattles play a role in choosing mates. We will return to this momentarily.
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Lily is a model and former scientist from the UK done up like a witch. She really wants someone to love her for her, more than just her looks.
Then there’s Cassie, an investment manager from Toronto who looks like a frog, but maybe more like… Voldemort’s sister who runs a fashion blog? Nose or no nose, she’s really into Disney and wants to find her Prince Charming, because that’s a realistic expectation for an adult to have.
Last but not least is Martha, a sales executive from South Hampton, England, who’s dressed like a reindeer, but, like, a reindeer with really nice hair. She’s looking for someone who won’t cheat.
Speed convo isn’t overly interesting. Colleges. Hobbies. And then Martha admits she somehow ended up in Philadelphia when she thought she was on a flight to the Dominican Republic. Cassie says she hasn’t been on a date in more than two years. Keleche’s wattles flap around.
Alas, Cassie doesn’t make the cut.
In the wake of the carnage, the trio set off on their individual dates. Martha and Keleche go wine tasting. He tries to cram his beak in a wine glass. To the pair’s credit, they seem to genuinely have some laughs together. She gropes his wattles a bit.
Can Lily compete with that? They take off on some type of off roading date, driving a Land Rover. One of them is a nervous driver. Possibly to calm Keleche down, they pursue a cup of tea.
Driving skills don’t seem to be a factor for Keleche, though. He picks Martha. On meeting, they seem mutually pleased with each other and ready to leave the latex behind.
Final thoughts and ardent desires for season 2
Sexy Beasts drives home the point that sometimes, dating can’t get any weirder, even when there’s a beaver trying to get to first base with a leopard. It’s a fun watch, and it’s easy to plow through the whole season in a sitting. Though it doesn’t deliver on being the kind of delicious, must-watch reality TV train wreck you’d hope for. I would’ve been interested in a version of this show that followed the same cast for an entire season, if only for the absurdity of getting invested in the romantic life of a dolphin, but I cannot imagine these people having to go through makeup every day for a month, or however long. Also, the show could do better representing nonheteronormative matches, which feels pretty behind the times. As for season 2, I’d noticed in the title sequence that there were daters who never appeared, like a Frankenstein’s monster-looking person with an exposed brain, but Variety also reported that another six episodes is set to drop later in the year.
Let’s just hope the next set of daters get straws.
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